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THE new anti tabacco law does not stop nicotine addicts from smoking nor does it take away “rights” from smokers to take legal, taxed nicotine: it simply gives others, families and individuals the right to the freedom to enjoy their coffee and their meal free from noxious, stinking nicotine being blown into their faces and all over their meal by discourteous drug addicts.

What's wrong with that? Smokers were always unable, even if willing, to comply with the polite requests from non-smokers because their (legal) drug-addiction to nicotine is too powerful for them to not light up. So recent legislation was necessary to protect children and bar staff from stinking air-borne pollution in closed public spaces. How many times have I been told by arrogant smokers to go outside, with my meal, when they lit up their fags next to me. They never even asked if I minded if they smoked. They took it as their right to spoil my enjoyment of my food and drink. They took it as their right to pollute my hair and make my clothes stink. My mistake was thinking that smokers had a choice, whether to light up or not. Of course, their addiction takes away their own freedom to choose not to smoke. Smokers have to smoke. But why let their addiction take away the freedoms of children and non-smokers? Nicotine is so cunningly dosed and concentrated in each fag that the desire to smoke surges unceasingly in the blood every hour or so. Now, the boot is on the other foot. Legislation has compelled smokers to finally respect the rights and freedoms of others. Had smokers respected the rights of others, legislation would not have been necessary. I once demanded my luggage be unloaded from my flight, when I was plonked in the nicotine addict area, in the days when nicotine smoking was allowed on planes. The pilot missed his take off slot and had to report that a passenger had refused to have his comfort and health damaged by smoke. Soon after, airlines discovered that smoking is not acceptable. I like to think that was my little 5 cents contribution to a less-polluted society.

Smokers know it is wrong to blow smoke into the faces of others and to pollute the air inhaled by infants and children, but they are pharmacologically addicted slaves of the multinational tabacco companies and cannot help themselves. They no longer can control their personal, antisocial conduct in public. The new law helps smokers regain their right to freedom to choose to smoke less. Outside, at least, smokers do not re-inhale the smoke they have just blown out. People inside restaurants and bars are no longer forced to inhale passive stinking smoke.

So. Enjoy your fag, outside, pay your fag-taxes which keep us non-smokers to wallow in our opulent luxury and leave the rest of us to enjoy the fresh air.

You will see that, despite your dissonance and despite your fag-addiction, you will feel better, your skin will become less wrinkled and grey, your teeth less yellow if you smoke outside. So. Don't feel sorry if you see the poor darling victims of anti-tobacco legislation whining and complaining while smoking in the cold rain outside. It's better for them and its better for us non-smokers. We all win.

You know it makes sense.

Dr. Dave Goldzahn, Alcudia