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By Jason Moore

Welcome to Majorca, Mr. Cameron, on behalf of the thousands of expatriates and tourists on the island at the moment I sincerely hope that you enjoy our beautiful island. We were slightly upset when your government launched a major TV advertising campaign earlier this year urging Britons to holiday at home this summer. Obviously British tourism is vital to Majorca and we did fear that there would be a slump in bookings as a result of your very imaginative campaign which called on would-be tourists to forget the euro and airport delays and stay back in Britain. Perhaps the campaign was the idea of the Liberal Democrats because you don´t appear to have taken any notice of it and are now with us in Majorca! As you will have seen there are no real airport delays, eventhough you came on a budget airline, and you will have little problems with the euro, as your friend Chancellor Angela Merkel has said on many occasions it is quite safe. Pollensa is a beautiful part of Majorca and here you will find thousands of British tourists (who also haven´t taken any notice of your campaign either). There is no chance that you will bump into your good friend Nick Clegg, he is on the mainland. Don´t forget that there is the market in Pollensa on Sunday, which is great fun and here you will find some great souvenirs to take back to London. The Anglican Church in the port would also welcome a visit. Enjoy your stay.