British Prime Minister Boris Johnson takes part during the 'Clap for our Carers' campaign in support of Britain's National Health Service (NHS) in 10 Downing Street. | WILL OLIVER

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Last week I tried to make head or tail of the new Covid guidelines issued by the prime
minister and gave up. I’m not sure whether Boris Johnson has just thrown all his cards in the air and handed the rulebook to a bunch of mad men but it certainly seems that way. No
wonder the British general public is so disgruntled.

Of course, the other aspect to the huge muddle that the UK finds itself in, is the brooding
scandal over care home deaths. According to the government and its scientific advisers,
26,000 elderly people have died in care homes this April, 18,000 more than the same month the previous year. What is despicable is that those elderly taken to hospital with signs of the virus were discreetly sent back to their homes to die and pass on Covid-19 to many others, without any testing or proper nursing. In effect, these are the real foot soldiers, the gun fodder, that society abandoned and left to die, probably horrible and painful deaths, alone away from loved ones or anyone who might give a damn. This will be the stain of shame on the government post this lamentable period.

In other UK Covid news, bizarrely the government has estimated that one third of the
population (19m people) has already had the virus and recovered. It also announced that
the UK had beaten the virus and was on course for a ‘back to business’ scenario. Really? It
now records the highest number of deaths in Europe at about 34,000. Well, let’s wait and
see. All I can say is that I’m very glad to be here in Majorca where the regional and national
governments have made difficult but informed decisions, putting the health of the
community first.

Weighty matters

The singer Adele has apparently managed to shed seven stone in weight over the last year
through dieting and regular exercise. The overweight community is devastated and feels betrayed while the slim-Jims have applauded her bravery and determination to shed the pounds.

Much as one must admire Adele’s resolve, and I am a fan of the singer, I might just put a
little spoke in the wheel. Surely it must be flagged up that this multimillion-dollar babe has a veritable troupe of health advisers and trainers? She has a chef to prepare her 1,000 calorie- controlled daily menu and a celebrity first-class trainer to help with her exercise regime and work-outs each day. She is living in Los Angeles where even a lettuce leaf represents the sperm of the devil so it can’t be too arduous to kick the calories, can it?

Imagine if lovely Adele had to prepare her own meals, find the energy to get on the
treadmill and motivate herself to get into her lycra every day. It would be a very different
story. So, if you’ve read about her feat, feel downbeat and need to lose some pounds (don’t we all, especially after lockdown) cheer up. We may not have slick trainers and precious chefs on hand but we live in one of the most beautiful places on earth where there are hills and country tracks and sunshine beaches all around. Unlike poor Adele, we can exercise completely free of charge without a grim entourage of sycophants forever on our backs and heels.

Let the oldies fly

There’s been a lot of talk about restricting the movements of those over the age of 65 in the
UK. Those of pensionable age are being treated like naughty children and the nanny state is
telling them to stay indoors for a whole year and to avoid flying. Beastly travel insurance
companies have also stopped renewing policies, fearful of having to pay out to a load of
money to wrinklies stuck in foreign hospitals, gasping their last.

We know that the older generation is more susceptible to Covid-19 but when the immediate danger has passed, older people must be allowed to carry on with their lives with some semblance of normality. What will kill them sooner will not be the virus but loneliness,
depression, anxiety and lack of purpose.

I am not in that age bracket yet but if I were to be, I would much rather die on the road or in
a jungle doing something that I love than being bundled up in cotton wool and told to put
everything on hold. Life can be brutal and short as we have seen particularly these past two months. The joy of human existence must not pass people by of any age. If those in the 65
plus bracket choose to take risks and are happy to face the consequences, that is their personal choice. Most have paid handsomely into the health system and should be allowed the chance of medical attention should disaster befall them.

Ticking bomb babe

As the Royal family waved goodbye to black sheep, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, no
doubt sighing with relief as they flew off for a new life in plastic LA, little did they expect the
boomerang to return so soon. Harry and Meghan might well be cosied up in a mega
mansion, courtesy of a wildly rich American celebrity, but they are still nursing a grievance against the royal family. A new biography, Finding Freedom, is about to hit the streets, cataloguing the transition the pair made from the UK to US and there is talk of another tome, penned by Meghan, following shortly. That book, drawn from her diaries while in the UK would most certainly set the heather alight. The Royals may well find Covid-19 is the least of their distractions when those works see the light of day.

Anna Nicholas’s first Majorca based crime novel, The Devil’s Horn, is out now. It’s available at all good bookshops & via amazon.