New Years resolutions

New Years resolutions.


It’s hard to believe, but another year has been firmly tucked under our straining belts. Father Time has reaped his annual harvest; and we are all looking forward to a new, hopefully brighter future in 2020, eager to fulfill our hopes, dreams and latest aspirations whilst wondering if Brexit will ever materialize, and musing as to how it will affect our ex-pat lives here on the island!

It is also that time of the year when traditionally, people reflect on past trials and tribulations, aspiring to improve and grow, with the cleansing and symbolic gesture of pledging a ‘resolution’. These annual resolutions, although harmless, are generally quite hard on the individual, and often rashly proclaimed without much thought to the possibility of their celebrated success.

The most popular example of a New Year’s Resolution is the well practised drinker, who, after imbibing on a daily basis for the past twenty years, declares in an inebriated stupor on New Year’s Eve . . .“Well, thashh it lads. Hic! The lashht one everrr! Tadahhhh!” What they actually forget to add to their heartfelt pledge is - “until tomorrow lunchtime when my hangover of biblical proportions has waned!”

It’s the same with smokers. Under the pressure of New Year they endeavour to quit overnight, yet rarely see the week out let alone the year. And chocolate! Well, no-one should even contemplate giving up chocolate, even on a whim. It’s a ridiculous concept and a law should be passed criminalizing any attempts to quit.

Giving up sex on the other hand is debatable and totally depends on how often and with whom! More often than not it’s used as a threat and not a real vice to abstain from at all. Most people would rather stick with the chocolate!

But joking apart, if you are thinking of giving a nod to tradition this year with a ‘resolution’ of your own, try and make it something that is halfway achievable or you will end up feeling a total failure in 2020 even before you start.

These days, with the advent of social media, it’s become almost compulsory to post your intention of resolution on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook, announcing your imminent failure to the entire world and his wife before you have the chance to give it a fair crack yourself in the privacy of your own life! Some people advocate that ‘sharing’ helps them to ‘achieve’, but the added pressure simply ramps up the disappointment and shame of personal failure. Why would you want to advertise that?

Once your resolution has been posted, and you’ve counted all your ‘likes’ and ‘thumbs up’ emojis, the truth often emerges that no-one really cares if you succeed or not, and two days later have moved on to more interesting pastures like Love Island, Mary Berry’s latest cup cake recipe or the pending January sales! But at least the absorbed and addicted get to post yet another photo of themselves ‘out there!’ even if their exciting resolution has somehow slipped off everyone’s radar.

The days of quietly and privately setting yourself a personal goal and challenge in the name of a resolution have sadly gone. It’s all just a bit of a laugh really, but as personal resolutions go, nothing can flag up more interest than ‘Dry January’ which has become the big mother of all resolutions. Basically, Dry January schedules cutting down on the booze for a month in a whipped up frenzy of trying to get all your ‘friends’ involved in a massive group detox. And seeing that, once again, it’s plugged across social media, then naturally everyone is up for it. Some people get sponsored, which is both admirable and rewarding, offering donations to their favourite charities. So, being ‘out there’ does have some advantages, whilst providing yet another un-missable opportunity to post more intimate selfies.

Personally, I gave up on new year’s resolutions years ago, yet try to set myself a few achievable goals throughout the year to keep my mojo motoring.

This year, and sadly more noticeable than previous years, the rewards of Festive Fayre have distributed themselves rather more generously than usual around my waistline. Well to be honest, the result of over indulgence has kind of replaced my waistline entirely. I could make excuses and put it down to age, but the truth is, the real culprit is pastry!
It is commonly accepted that everyone overdoes it a bit between Christmas and the lead up to New Year. But if you don’t nip it in the bud, that narrowing of the torso between the shoulders and the hips, affectionately called the waist, will become a distant memory and something only associated with a long forgotten past.

Each year, with all those Majorcan fiestas, holidays and Christmas festivities, any extra pounds get more and more difficult to shift; so after the last of the mince pies have gone, I’m back on a healthier regime. After all, I don’t want to end up looking like the square box that the pies came in, and that’s what the mirror is currently showing me! But it’s never too late! It’s just a question of self control. And as long as I don’t put myself under pressure by telling anyone or post my resolution on social media then no-one will know if I fail or succeed. That’s the secret of a successful resolution. Always keep it private! So let’s just keep this to ourselves shall we? And wish me luck with project Beachbody 2020!


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