From rocket rides to real-life wrecks: A modern tale of space, eggs, and Adolescence

There was a flutter of excitement in the press last week about an all-women unique mission into space orchestrated by none other than Mr Jeff Bezos. Yes! Six brave women – most celebrities – headed to Texas, dolled their makeup, grinned to the cameras and whizzed up in one of Jeff’s rockets for eleven minutes and er, came back down again. The joy ride on the Blue Origin, a CO2 emissions treat, was toasted with cheers and celebration with Oprah Winfrey brushing away tears, Jeff Bezos falling flat on his face, and the Kardashians on hand to offer intellectual insights. Katy Perry kissed the ground on her return and said it had changed her life and muttered copiously about love while Laura Sanchez flung herself in her multi-billionaire fiance’s arms like a would-be Vivien Leigh.

The special all-women rite of passage was given star billing on the front cover of Elle, with the luscious belles all pouting bravely in figure hugging attire as they contemplated their daring mission into outer space. No doubt, Valentina Tereshkova, the first and youngest female astronaut ever to undertake a solo mission into space in 1963 at the tender age of 26, was breathless with admiration at the news. While this Soviet heavyweight orbited Earth 48 times at 290km, these valiant women managed to chat and sing while the automated craft made its accent, reaching 100km above Earth. Sure, it wasn’t quite as high as Valentina’s rocket and true, they didn’t actually do anything except apparently, chat, cry and sing until released from their safe chamber on its return but, but, but….it was still a death-defying feat, wasn’t it? Aren’t these female titans true heroines of our time too? Happily, unlike that other inglorious and pointless mission to the depths of the ocean in a submersible in 2023 – that time by a group of super-duper wealthy chaps – these pleasure-seekers got to go home.

Eggs Galore?

It’s Easter and has it really sunk in? I find each year that passes I find myself further removed from the hullabaloo of calendar events. In truth, I haven’t even clocked an Easter egg in the local supermarket or perhaps I’m just not interested. At subliminal level, I suppose it just doesn’t cross my psyche. It used to be so different when our son was little, and we’d all spend time boiling and painting eggs and hiding chocolate bunnies and eggs around the garden before his friends arrived for the treasure hunt. Ah, happy days. As a child, Easter revolved around the Catholic Church – Lent, Palm Sunday and then endless traipsing to masses. My aunt, Minny, would always make the most incredible Easter cake, decorated with loads of tiny chocolate eggs and lashings of icing and her hot cross buns were second to none. Now, there’s less pressure and preparation involved, and the days are much like any other, but I do harbour wonderful Easter memories, for which I’m truly grateful. Of course these days we don’t actually need any Easter eggs as our feathery girls produce a good number of the delicious real thing every day and they never disappoint.

Adolescence

Following the highly-acclaimed Netflix show, Adolescence, about a young teen who murders a female classmate, there has been much polemic and hand-wringing about why youths have become so feral, vicious and inhuman. Every day, there are reports of child murders in the UK, most carried out by other children. It’s horrid and the worst of it is that it’s fast become acceptable. How can that be? Years ago, a teen stabbed to death on a bus on her way to school, by another pupil, would have made headline news. Now people tut and shrug and blame it on the state of the world today. Teens running around the less acceptable streets of London with swords and knives has become quite normal. You do have to wonder where it all went wrong.

The school depicted in Adolescence is frankly horrific. It’s the kind of nightmarish place any sane teen would never want to step foot in. The teachers are all ghastly, seemingly uncaring, bored and listless. There’s a menacing and febrile atmosphere that has you fearing for the kids that aren’t dysfunctional. It left me wondering whether this really was a reflection of schools in Britain today in which case, there truly is no hope for future generations. There was more polemic in the British press this week about how there were few men teaching in schools today. This, commentators felt, could be one of the reasons for so much male toxicity in the classroom. Currently 76% of school teachers are women and nearly a third of primary schools have no male teachers at all. Are we surprised?

Aside from the lack of respect, level of abuse, violence and unpleasantness that so many teachers have to deal with - and let’s not mention miserly salaries and extracurricular activities and homework - men have the additional concern of being falsely accused of sexual misconduct by mischievous girls. I have a male friend working in an all-girls school in London and for this reason has to go to extraordinary lengths never to be alone in a room with a female pupil. In fact, he breaks out in a panic if a girl enters a classroom, and no other member of staff is around. He said that he has to order the child out of the space and to close the door behind them so that there can be no false reporting. It’s enough to make you a nervous wreck. So, I don’t blame most blokes for giving teaching a miss. There must be so many other professions that don’t require nerves of steel every second of the day.