Peacocks, police, and pet thieves: A Nation on Edge

These days it seems that most newspapers go out of their way to scare the living daylights out of their readers. If it’s not the latest fear inducing research about caffeine, alcohol, fast food or ingested microplastics, it’s pollution, emissions and potential World War III. I was therefore amused to discover that a local Yorkshire based newspaper has urged readers not to hang out their washing for fear of exacerbating hay fever symptoms. It warns that pollen and dust can attach to wet washing which will then infect the home and have sufferers sneezing and sniffing. It’s firm advice is only to use electric dryers for clothes. Furthermore, it suggests wearing sunglasses and a hat when venturing outside and to wash and shower hair immediately when returning to the home. Now, either the newspaper is being sponsored by an electrical or energy company or plain bonkers. Like many, I absolutely love putting my washing out in the fresh air which I consider to be very healthy. It is always sweet smelling and saves a bundle on electrical bills so if I were a hay fever sufferer, I’d be inclined to ignore this hysterical advice and seek more medically based solutions.

Potty Peahens

A small drama has occurred in Tutbury village in Staffordshire where villagers have become divided over the burgeoning population of peahens in their midst. A pride of peacocks that was originally nurtured at the local castle 25 years ago appears to have grown considerably and is now scavenging around the village. One local described the birds as Marmite, either residents love them or hate them. Villagers complain about their poop and the loud screaming and cooing that interrupts their sleep in the early hours. I have sympathy with locals but as the proud owner of two peacocks I can only say that they are such wonderful birds. True, they are not the brightest, but they have rather spectacular feathers and rituals, and are wonderful to watch in the wild. I adore the sound of their calling and cooing and find it hugely soothing. There is, however, a high pitched piping that our peahen, Josephine, indulges in which drives us a little mad. Still, this is only her late morning wake up call so it’s no great hardship. It seems that no one has taken the ultimate responsibility for who now owns the peacocks of Tutbury so unless strident locals gather up their arms, they are there to stay.

Castle Capers

It’s hardly surprising that many in the UK are becoming mightily frustrated and appalled by the inertia and lack of vim and vigour of the national police force. Lorne Castle, a decorated officer, who won an award for rescuing an elderly woman from a freezing lake – with no thought to his own safety – has been summarily dismissed for offending a 15-year-old knifeman. A rampaging teen knifeman who had been embroiled in a fight in Bournemouth, went on to assault an elderly man before being bravely apprehended by Castle. The knife fell from the felon’s pocket as he was wrestled to the floor. Castle had just finished a ten-hour shift when he was summoned to assist but courageously answered the call.

At a police disciplinary hearing in which poor Castle was sacked, fellow Dorset police officers who’d accompanied him to the scene, claimed that he had not treated the thug with courtesy and respect. It’s true, the world has officially gone mad. I think Castle, evidently one of a diminishing number of real policemen in the UK, should thank his lucky stars he’s escaped from the asylum, and the good news for him is that crowd funders have raised a significant sum for his appeal. Already a laughing stock in Europe, the UK police will soon only be known for line and synchronised dancing and waving multi coloured flags from their vehicles.

Cat Knappers in Mallorca

A recent spate of animal theft has occurred in Soller and shockingly, some culprits have been identified as British residents from other parts of the island. This is of grave concern and frustration to our local hardworking cat association. Some of these people seemingly hear that we have a surfeit of cats on the streets so deem it acceptable to visit the valley with a cat box and take whatever cat or dog they fancy that happens to be roaming around. Most of our valley animals do not have collars because this can be dangerous for felines and most vets advise against it. There may be some well meaning though misguided residents from other locales who think this means the animals are not owned. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Not only is this an illegal practice but it is hugely upsetting for those of us who own, love and nurture our cats and dogs. Most of us have our cats neutered and chipped so I would like to issue a stark warning to any cat or dog knappers reading this. If you go to a good, registered island vet with the animal you have stolen, pretending it is yours, the vet will see from the chip that the animal was nicked and will call the local vet. If you are found to have abducted the animal, you will be in very hot water. I have two beautiful beige and cream young part Siamese sisters – Poppy and Polly - which are rescue cats. When Polly went missing recently, I went everywhere looking for her. She is a homebird but roams around the La Huerta rural area where I live, and is super friendly with humans. The cat association also kindly did a search, and she was not found, nor discovered via her chip with the local police. They firmly believe that she was stolen in this way, so she is likely to have paid the price for being a beautiful, well fed, much loved and chipped cat. I hope that whoever took her is treating her well, but I want them to know – should they read this - that they have broken our hearts by this selfish and senseless act and left her beloved sister bereft. I would urge them to make contact or confess to a vet so she is returned to us – that’s if they have any sense of decency.