WELL here is my second column and I would like to thank all the people who emailed me after my first attempt last week, especially that Nigerian gentleman who offered me $100'000 and that nice Russian lady who even sent me a photo of herself.

I was talking to my Spanish friends this week and they were telling me how I should love this rainy weather, “this is what you have in England...isn´t it...” they told me, I replied “ this was one of the reasons I left England in the first place.” What a disaster all week, I´ve had a message on my TV screen telling me that “no-satellite signal was being received” and to make matters worse my postman (yes, the man I mentioned last week) appears to have disappeared...(I´m reliably informed that he doesn´t like the rain; can you imagine a postie in England making a comment like that!) So to cheer myself up I went to Palma on Monday night of last week for all the concerts; last year it was fantastic even though I did have a bad stomach afterwards....I blame that half cooked sausage. This year, I had beans-on-toast first (I can´t understand why baked beans are so expensive here when you consider that they cost 10 pence in England) and off I went to the big city. Well, what a nightmare. First there was the wind, then the rain and then the music, too Spanish for my liking! Then I saw one of my neighbours, he was amazed that I was moaning about the weather, “just like England,” h said. Anyhow soaked and pretty angry I headed home early. Oh well, one of those things, I said to myself. Sat down to watch the late movie on BBC, “no satellite signal being received....” Went to bed. Awoken, early by my postman. “A typical English morning, señor...” I made no comment and just grabbed the post. Five Christmas cards, all sent in early December and they arrive at the end of January. Oh well. Went down to the local bar, pretty empty, I must say. All the construction workers (who must have difficulty doing any work at all after all they drink and eat at breakfast) have all but disappeared. My friend behind the bar, who speaks a bit of English greets me, and he was just about to say something about the weather being like England, when I saw my bank-manager friend. He was telling me that sooner or later Britain will have to join the euro because the pound is worth about as much as the Mexican peso. “You just wait and see...you will all soon be asking to ditch the euro and join the pound,” I told him. Feeling a bit better I went home and the first rays of sunshine were starting to appear...and Sky was back working. I saw the headlines and then the bloody weather forecast said that Spain was enjoying English-sort of weather! Oh, don´t you start.

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