By Monro Bryce
REAL MALLORCA 1 – 5 VALLADOLID
After a weekend when a nun in Rome reported that there was a case of chlamdia in the convent – the mother superior said “Let's hope it's better than that Pinot Gregorio we had last week !” – Real Mallorca were thumped 1-5 by a classy Valladolid side at the Son Moix on Sunday lunchtime in front of 6,200 brass monkeys !
The home side got off to the best possible start after just three minutes when Real Madrid-bound Marco Asensio controlled a Fofo through ball to put us ahead, 1-0. But as usual Mallorca couldn't chisel out enough chances to increase their lead and in the 18th minute the slick-passing visitors drew level. Shocking defending by our normally reliable centre backs allowed Jonathan Pereira to slot home an easy equaliser, 1-1. Five minutes later saw disaster for Mallorca, a complete breakdown in communication between Kasim and Bigas saw ace predator Pereira given another chance and he nipped in to double the visitors' lead, 1-2. It wasn't too long after that the visitors sealed, more or less, all three points when Valladolid's hit man Mojica scored the third with another clinical finish, 1-3. That was the crucial goal and from then on there was no way back for Real Mallorca as the freezing cold fans sensed a rout was on the cards as a hopeless referee, Pineiro Castro, blew for half time. During the interval as the coffee machines at the Son Moix went into overdrive, fans were shell-shocked as to how easily Mallorca had been picked apart by a team who were light years ahead of them in every aspect. Many commented that Valladolid were easily the best team we'd seen at the Son Moix this, and possibly last, season.
Things got even worse in the 48th minute when Jonathan Pereira scored his hat trick, 1-4. This was now becoming a game of men against boys as the home crowd clapped the opposition's performance. By this time we were desperate and coach Valery Karpin brought on substitutes who hadn't played for weeks. That idea was to no avail because in the 62nd minute Oscar Gonzalez steered in the fifth goal for Valladolid and the whole thing became embarrassing, 1-5. After that goal went in at least half the crowd decided they'd seen enough and exited the ground – they couldn't leave the cold mausoleum called Son Moix quickly enough. If there's one thing in football that upsets me most, it's fans walking out when their team's taking a beating. It's unforgivable to eave 15 minutes into the second half, no matter how much we're being humiliated.