One of Mallorca’s new strikers, the Argentine Pablo Chavarria.

After a week when Man. Utd.’s Marcus Rashford signed a new £200,000 a week contract – just imagine what he’d earn if he was a goalscorer ?! – Real Mallorca players and staff are enjoying their well-earned Summer holidays and are expected back for pre-season training later this week.

It’s now just over a fortnight since Real Mallorca’s stunning comeback in overcoming a 2-0 first leg deficit to beat Deportivo La Coruña 3-2 on aggregate and return to La Liga after a six-year absence.

Local fans are just about getting over the shock of that impressive win after what can only be described as an exceptional season.

In a few short weeks Mallorquinistas will be able to see the divas of world football on their very doorstep.

The promise that Barcelona, Real Madrid, At. Madrid, Valencia, Sevilla et al are on the agenda has already got football aficionados salivating.

I’ve already had people from Northern Europe enquiring about match tickets for the Real Madrid game on October 20.

There’s a real buzz around the Son Moix at the moment as fans can’t wait for the big kick off on the weekend of August 17/18.

One thing I have noticed lately, since promotion, is the number of young people walking around Palma proudly wearing their red club shirts. I’ve not seen that since the heady days of Hector Cuper in the late ‘90s.

According to a study by the Chamber of Commerce in Girona, when they were promoted to La Liga in 2017, it had a knock-on impact of 22.5 million euros on the provincial capital. In our case, hotels, bars, restaurants, transport and even small businesses are set to benefit from Mallorca’s promotion.

All this euphoria has come about thanks to the coaching skills of Vicente Moreno and his staff.

The best news of the close season came earlier last week when he signed a contract extension that keeps him at the helm until 2022.

Moreno is pivotal in the plans of the club and his coaching and man-management skills have been brilliant.

His ambition has always been to coach a side in La Primera so that dream’s come true.

Working alongside Moreno is director of football Javi Recio and he’s been busy bringing in new faces and extending present contracts.

Rising star, 23-year-old Iddrisu Baba also signed a new deal that keeps him at the club until 2022.

The young Ghanaian is following in his countryman Thomas Partey’s footsteps. Thomas had a season on loan here three years ago before returning to excel at At. Madrid.

A new face is 31-year-old Argentinian (with an Italian passport) striker Pablo Chavarria who arrives on a free transfer from Ligue 1 French side Stade de Reims.

Recio has to offload a team of players, nine of them being strikers.

Players like Lopez and Valcarce look to be on their way to other second division teams whilst others like Stoichkov and Buenacasa will probably be loaned out.

The transfer window can be the best and worst time for a football fan with the rumours, whispers and endless paper talk of potential purchases.

Some of these rumours have a source where others are pure pipe-dreams. With our pre-season shortened by promotion play-offs, it looks likely our Summer training camp will be here on the island and somewhere on the mainland near Malaga. Over the past few summers we’ve done pre-season in Marbella, Holland and Kossen in Austria.

The American owners have expressed that the most important thing is the football, especially as their objectives (to get into La Liga with a four or five-year plan) have come a lot sooner than expected.

The priority now is to optimise the maximum time available, which is more or less a one-month pre-season.

The club will play some “not too far away” friendlies with one already confirmed away against Malaga on August 1 in Marbella. The hard bit is training in the intense heat of July/August but that’s what Moreno wants. This time last year in Marbella temperatures reached the mid 30°s C and look what happened as we finished the campaign in spectacular fashion.

Have boots will travel – footballers these days seem to turn up in the strangest places. No more so than ex- Mallorca and Palma-born player, Marti Crespi, who’s just signed a one-year deal for a team in East Bengal!

PS I’ve been asking people, what do these men’s doubles players say to each other between points? They’re always whispering after every shot. The best answer I’ve had so far is “Do you want curry sauce or gravy on your chips tonight!”

AND FINALLY, Emily had lost her husband almost four years ago. Her daughter was always calling her and urging her to get on Tinder and back into the dating world. Finally, Emily decided she’d go out, but said she didn’t know anyone. Her daughter told her “Mum, I have someone you’d like to meet.” The gentleman she met was perfect, they took to each other from the beginning and after dating for six weeks he asked her to join him in his apartment in Majorca.

Their first night she undressed as he did. There she stood, naked except for a pair of black lacy panties, and he was in his birthday suit. Looking over to her, he enquired “Why the black panties?” She replied, “My boobs you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down below I am still in mourning.” He wasn’t going to get lucky that night! The following night was the same. She stood there wearing the black lacy panties and he was in his birthday suit. But this time he was wearing a black condom. “What’s with the black condom,” she asked. He replied “I want to offer my deepest condolences!”