Will Mallorca's huddle get them out of trouble? | MIQUEL A. BORRAS


After a week when NASA failed to find the Indian moon lander Vikram, and released images of an empty landing site – all they could see was a corner shop – Real Mallorca find themselves second bottom of La Liga as they play away at Alaves Sunday at 4pm.

On Thursday night Eibar came back from being two down against Sevilla to win 3-2 and Espanyol drew 1-1 against Celta Vigo who equalised in the 95th minute. These results meant Mallorca entered the dreaded drop zone after round six of this season’s Primera, with a long, long, long way to go. Coach Vicente Moreno said on Friday that there’s no need to panic as the season has barely started.

Alaves are one point ahead of us on five and have only scored two goals, the worst in La Liga. They came a cropper against this season’s sensational starters, Real Sociedad, who netted three brilliant goals without reply on Thursday night, and if Alaves lose today there’s a strong chance their coach Asier Garitano could be collecting his P45. They had ex Celtic player Oliver Burke playing in mid week. The last Scottish-born player to play in La Liga was Alan Hutton who played for Mallorca in 2013. Also a regular for Alaves is Tomas Pina, who spent five years here between 2008-2013.

As expected, the knives are out for Real Mallorca after Wednesday night’s 0-2 defeat at the hands of a classy At. Madrid side. Their budget by the way is around 385 million euros as against ours which is around 30 million!! Five of our team on Wednesday night were playing in Segunda B two years ago and it’s a huge ask to expect us to mix it with the big boys when it’s obvious we’re finding it difficult to compete against them at the moment.

Three of our defeats have been against Valencia, Getafe and At. Madrid, all of them are playing in European competitions this season. Now we’ve got supposedly a run of easier games against Alaves (A), Espanyol (H), Leganes (A), Osasuna (H), Valladolid (A), Villareal (H) and Levante (A), plus of course Real Madrid here on October 19. The Osasuna game has been scheduled for THURSDAY, October 31, kick off 9pm.

The local media have been banging on about some of the players who arrived in the Summer transfer window, saying they don’t look good enough for La Liga. A lot of these players have hardly kicked a ball for Real Mallorca and will need time to adapt. What I am worried about, though, is the left back position, Chelsea loanee Abdul Rahman damaged knee ligaments against Getafe and will be absent for at least two months. His replacement and fellow Ghanaian International, Lumor Agbenyenu, looks decidedly shaky defending and gave the ball away too often on Wednesday night. I would also like another striker to play alongside Budimir, countless times he lays the ball off but there’s nobody near him to take advantage.

All in all, we’re not in a good place at the moment but the fixture list hasn’t done us any favours. Fans have to be patient. Again, I reiterate, it’s not going to be easy, but with Vicente Moreno at the helm, I’m convinced we’ll stay up.

MY SEAT. Before kick off on Wednesday, when once again there were major traffic problems around the Son Moix area before and after the game, I was a few minutes late in taking my seat – people kept buying me beer ! When I reached my seat after struggling through a sea of legs, I saw somebody was sitting in it. Hackles were raised. I produced my season ticket to show the seat was in my name, and the young man occupying the seat proceeded to show me a computer printout showing exactly the same row and seat number as mine. He’d paid 80 euros for his and wasn’t going to move. Now it would have been a good idea then to bring in the services of a steward to act as mediator but guess what? There wasn’t a steward in sight. Who needs them when there are 20,000 in the ground?! With the game about to start, two of our gang took pity on this old codger and moved to a row in front.

When I finally sat down I introduced myself to the young man, who is a dentist in Dortmund and a Borussia season ticket holder. He also has an apartment in Santa Ponsa. We chatted throughout the game until he left 15 minutes from time I took his “ticket” with seat details home with me in readiness for a trip to the club offices the following morning. When I got home, I showed her indoors the piece of paper and it said on it, in very small print, “Descoberta” (the next section down) while my season ticket is for “Coberta” (covered stand). A simple mistake that should have been easily rectified if I could have found my “specs” before kick off. I didn’t get the holidaying dentist’s name, but if you’re reading this, nice to have met you, however, you were in the correct seat but in the wrong area.


A man dies and goes to heaven. As he enters through the pearly gates, he sees lots and lots of clocks. St Peter tells him there are in fact 7.5 billion clocks, one for every person on earth. The man asks St Peter why some of the clocks are running faster than others. St Peter replies “Whenever someone tells a lie or commits adultery, the hands on their clock whizz forward 60 minutes and they spend an hour less on earth.” The man says “I’d love to see Boris Johnson’s clock!” St Peter answers “It’s hanging up in the kitchen, the chef uses it as a ceiling fan!”