Mallorca enter the lions den on Sunday

Saturday’s 1-1 draw to Alaves was a hard second half watch. We’ve dropped so many points by giving away soft goals in the dying embers of games especially at home. Alaves should have been beaten out of sight in the first half but we seem to lack that killer instinct of going for the prey when we see blood. It was the worst second half seen in Son Moix this season. People are still talking about how Muriqi managed to miss a golden opportunity in the first half and then he went on to miss three more difficult chances later in the game. It was so frustrating to see us struggle at home against the penultimate team in La Liga.

We had to thank our goalkeeper Dominik Greif for a brilliant second half display. The Bratislava-born shot stopper has been in great form lately but even his heroics can’t prevent us from losing clean sheets since we won 0-1 away at Getafe just before Christmas. We’ve conceded a goal in 22 of the 28 official games played this season. For the uninitiated, keeping a clean sheet describes a situation in which any given team has managed to prevent the opposition from scoring. If that’s achieved, confidence is boosted no end. Maybe the most important aspect of keeping a clean sheet is that goal difference comes into play which could decide promotion or relegation. Our defence was one of the best in La Primera last season (with the dreaded five at the back) but it’s been much more porous this time around.

Cyle Larin – One player’s contribution (or not) to the Real Mallorca cause this term has been making headlines in many of the local press outlets this past week. The 29-year-old Canadian striker has become our Doctor Jekyll and Mr Hyde, and credit for the Canadian international has almost run out. Signed with great expectations for eight million euros after elongated transfer negotiations with Valladolid in the Summer of 2023 on a five-year deal, he’s failed to pull up any trees for RCD Mallorca. Under previous coach Javier Aguirre and the present incumbent Jagoba Arrasate he’s had more than ample opportunities to show his potential in the 18 yard box but he’s failed to make the net ripple on countless occasions. In February Larin only played for 49 minutes. He finished 2024 in a reasonable vein of form with two goals against Girona and a penalty away at Getafe, since then he’s all be disappeared.

It was reported recently that the club are getting ready to cut their losses and initiate early moves to shift Larin in the Summer. It’s not just that he hasn’t lived up to the reputation he had at Valladolid, many fans having their say on various social media platforms say that his demeanour on the pitch leaves a lot to be desired. Allegedly he’s very introverted and has little interaction with his team-mates. That’s not helped by the time he’s spent in Spanish football. He barely communicates in a language other than English. Speaking the local lingo has a huge influence on adaptation. Us Mallorquinistas know Larin is pacey and runs well between the lines and is capable of mixing it with any defender (then gets booked for arguing with the referee!). After he’s done all these difficult things he fails in the most essential thing – definition. Somehow his form goes up several notches when he pulls on a Canadian shirt and has assists galore plus the odd goal here and there.

Our forward line (how old school is that?) for next season has to be improved. 26 games played and only 24 goals scored simply isn’t good enough and if there aren’t signings brought in (who are proven goalscorers) during the Summer we’ll be in even more trouble up front. Larin hasn’t scored a goal in 2025 and unfortunately Mallorca are dealing with a mis-firing player on a long contract and a salary that exceeds five million euros per year. If Cyle Larin needs a lift to the airport with his suitcases during the Summer, I’ve got a list as long as my arm of people who’ll willingly drive him there!

AND FINALLY, Bob was practising his golf swing in his front garden. He swung a ball too hard and it sailed through a neighbour’s window. Bob ran over all apologetic and rang the doorbell three times. As there was no answer, Bob opened the door to see broken glass everywhere, a lamp lying on the ground and a huge fat Arab man wearing a turban sitting on the couch. Bob asked “Who are you?” The fat man replied “I am a genie and you have freed me from the lamp.” Bob said “Does that mean I get three wishes?” The genie replied “Since you freed me by accident, you only get two and I get one.” Bob had a think and said “I want to be the best golfer ever.” The genie said “Okay, now your wife gets one wish.” She came over and asked for a million quid for every week of her life. The genie said “Granted. Now it’s my turn. As I’ve been cramped in that lamp for all these years, it’s been a while since I’ve been with a woman. I want a day of passion with your wife.” Bob at first refused but thought about the money involved, so he agreed. When the genie had his wicked way with Bob’s missus, he asked how old her husband was. She said “Fifty-five.” The genie laughed and said “Isn’t he a wee bit old to be believing in genies?”