Oil prospecting hits the fan. | ULTIMA HORA

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By Andrew Ede

The PP’s oil crisis

All was going so well. The king was in his palace and Majorca’s politicarrati was queuing up to wish him and Tizzy a happy holiday. Bauzá, Isern, Salom, they all came and went, the first of these pausing to inform the press that the king is well apprised of issues regarding the Balearics. Such as the oil prospecting issue. Bauzá let the king know that the Balearics just say no to oil. But then there was the blowout. Oil was splattered all over the PP. The black stuff hit the fan and then fell on Bauzá and environment minister Company. Someone let it be known that in April last year, and possibly also in July last year, there had been test explorations for oil in the turquoise waters off the Balearics, those which must be solely reserved for tourists, as the president has consistently argued. And no one had thought it necessary to seek permission to do so or to inform the public. Bauzá denied everything and blamed Company. He is only the president, after all.
With oily egg on faces and with the king no doubt wondering if he had been told a porky, government spokesperson Nuria Riera attempted a Red Adair act in seeking to cap the blowout. She fights fires here, she fights fires there, Red Riera insisted that it had all been part of gathering evidence against oil prospecting. So, there was nothing wrong with the tests, even if she seemed uncertain as to who had actually authorised them, given that the government has - she added - not authorised any action regarding surveys. It was, therefore and as usual, all rather confusing. But we can expect minister Company, once he’s washed the oil out of his hair, to get in front of parliament next week and give a clearer explanation. Or possibly not.

Guetta: mistaken identity

Everyone was going on holiday last week. While Felipe, Tizzy, the nippers and the Queen Mum were checking into the all-inclusive Marivent, the Urdangarins were keeping as far away as possible. The co-founder of the Instituto Noos preferred to get himself and the Infanta off to some French beach instead, well away from the noose of the prying Majorcan paparazzi and from jibes of “oi, Urdangarin, where’s the money?”. There he was able to write his postcards in peace. One, for instance, to a Don Jaume Matas, The Prison, Segovia. “Dear Jaume, wish you were here? Lol. Un abrazo, Ignatius.”
The New Royals, keen one imagines to display their street cred, might have fancied blagging their way into the David Guetta gig. But of course, there was no Guetta gig, until, that is, the cavalry of Mallorca Rocks appeared on the hill of Magalluf, plugged the Guettablaster in, and 2,800 disappointed fans were no longer disappointed. It had all been a terrible but very easy mistake. The promoters discovered, to their horror, that they had booked the wrong French David. The hair, circa the late-90s at any rate, had been what had confused them, as had the surname. Six letters, beginning with G and ending with A. David Ginola and not David Guetta. Anyone could have made the same error, including, as it turned out, the giant Primo, the celebrity security guard for the celebrity corruption defendants at Palma’s court. There was something of a commotion at the courts. David Guetta was there. Or was it David Ginola? Neither. It was a lookalike, and a beaming Primo had his photo taken with the impostor.

Heaven and frito in Majorca

Getting down with the kids, in a cultural sense, was not on the royals’ agenda, however. Tizzy, we were told, had googled Joan Valent and then spent a good twenty minutes discussing music for cinema and music played by men in tuxedos and women in evening gowns with the great composer and director of the Pollensa Festival. It is not known if the quite deplorable treatment of Valent last year at the hands of certain members of Pollensa town hall was raised. Or indeed if the queen broached the subject of Josep Vicent’s removal from the Balearic Symphony Orchestra. What is it with Majorca which means that cultural icons like Valent and Vicent are treated shabbily? The island deserves a world-class orchestra. It doesn’t deserve a less than world-class orchestra management.
The king was making all the right soundings, and not ones involving underwater tests for oil. “We think that we will always come,“ he said. To Majorca, that is, which is a “a piece of heaven on earth”.
Thus, the king put an end to speculation that they’ll be swapping their island holiday allegiances in future and going instead, for example, to Lanzarote, where the king’s father-in-law is vacationing. In the same modest establishment that Dave and Sam stayed in.
The queen was also bigging up Majorca and especially its cuisine. She just loves sobrassada and frito, so she said. Note to restaurant owners. Change menus to “frito mallorquina reina” and “sobrassada Letizia”.

We most certainly can

Podemos continues its steady upward we-can curve. PSOE, having selected the photogenic Pedro Sánchez as its new leader, discovered in a poll that the ponytailed Pablo Iglesias is rated more highly than Pedro. Even worse for PSOE was the finding that support was down a whole five percentage points since April. Podemos is in fact narrowing the gap: 15.3% plays PSOE’s 21.2%. These are alarming times for the quasi-socialists. The hard-core socialists are on the up and up, though what does one make of the tentative moves by the IU (United Left) to formally pact with Podemos? If nothing else, it proves that Podemos is a political organisation that veers towards the hard left. Which will come as no surprise. It possibly also reveals that the IU is just as disconcerted by Podemos’ arrival on the scene as PSOE. It might just find itself being marginalised in the fight for the left territory. Podemos, it seems to me, has nothing to really gain from a tie-up with the IU.