Real Mallorca have six more games to play before they reach the halfway point in the season | R.D.


After a week when, before a 1979 episode of Fawlty Towers on UK Gold, an announcement said “A word of warning, this does contain discriminatory content which some may find offensive” – Dearie me, what sad times we live in!! – Real Mallorca get back to business after an international break with an away game against sixth-placed Rayo Vallecano (the side with the best home record in La Liga, played six, won five, drawn one) in their three-sided Estadio Vallecas which is situated in a street called Payaso Fofo (a legendary Spanish clown). Kick off is 9 pm Monday.

The Madrid side (who came up dramatically through the play offs last season after finishing sixth in La Segunda) accompanied us on our return to the elite and are without doubt the revelation team in this season’s La Liga Santander.

At home they are really strong, beating Barcelona 1-0 a couple of weeks ago, a scenario that doesn’t auger well for us. Rayo have been over the years one of Spanish football’s “yoyo” clubs and have always been in the shadow of the two biggest sides in the capital, Real and Atletico Madrid.

On transfer deadline day in August, they brought in 35-year-old Colombian journeyman Radamel (“El Tigre”) Falcao, who’s become their leading scorer with five goals although he’s injured and won’t play against us.

For Monday’s game, Baba is suspended, Salva Sevilla doubtful and Slovakian goalkeeper Dominik Greif has tested positive for Covid and is isolating at home. Leo Roman takes his place on the bench.

Real Mallorca have six more games to play before they reach the halfway point in the season and are looking for a minimum of six points from five games to see them finish their first round of games in an acceptable position.

If we follow our present trajectory in the second half of the campaign we’d finish on 42 points, which usually guarantees a place in next season’s La Liga. However, our fixture list is not easy as we have to play Atletico Madrid and a revamped Xavi-coached Barcelona in the next few weeks.

At the moment Mallorca have 15 points which ironically is the same as we had two seasons ago with Vicente Moreno in charge.

We’re only four points above the relegation zone, a false position really because it doesn’t (with the exception of our recent 2-2 home draw against Elche) really merit our performances.

Football is a results business so we need to score more and stop conceding extra-time goals.

On the horizon next Saturday (27th) we play bottom side Getafe in the Son Moix at 18:30. Their form shows two draws and five defeats. Winning that game is vital. On December 4 we face a daunting trip to play At. Madrid in the Wanda Metropolitano, again it’s an 18:30 kick off.

“Los Colchoneros” are unbeaten at home but they’ve drawn three. After that Celta Vigo come to town on Friday 10th at 9 pm, another must-win situation.

Our last game before the festive break sees us travel to Granada who have only won the once at their Nuevo Los Carmenes ground this campaign.

We start 2022 with a huge game in Son Moix against troubled Barcelona now under new management. It’s a mystery how the Catalans will respond to Xavi’s guidelines. What a start that would be to 2022 if we beat them !

It’s Copa Del Rey time again and Mallorca have been drawn away at an outfit called Gimnastica Segoviana from the Castile/Leon region of Spain who play in Segunda RFEF Group 1 where they lie 13th.

It’s a one-legged tie which will give some of our bench players a game and it’ll be played during the week of Nov 30/Dec 1-2.

The club are to present a project to Palma City Council in the next few days which will show details of plans to completely remodel the Son Moix stadium. Work will be carried out in stages and the plan is to complete the process by 2024.

A new economic agreement that La Liga has signed will swell our coffers with a figure close to 30 million euros and the club would bear all the expenses, with the objective being to start work at the end of this season – priority being the removal of the obsolete running track, bringing the fans closer to the pitch. At last we could be getting a proper football stadium – it’s only taken 22 years !!

AND FINALLY, medical personnel in Cape Town were baffled last week to find the patient dead in the same intensive care bed every Friday morning at around 11 a.m. over a period of months.

Post mortems had failed to pinpoint a cause of death and clinical equipment had been tested. Eventually a team of experts tasked with investigating this phenomenon met in the ward on Friday morning to observe the patient in the bed in question.
These experts were holding crosses and bibles to ward off evil spirits.

At 10:57 the janitor entered the ward and immediately unplugged the mechanical ventilator that was keeping the patient alive in order to plug in the industrial floor cleaner.

Luckily this patient was saved but it came to light that the whirring of the floor cleaner had drowned out the patients’ dying gurgles and the ventilator had been plugged back in without the janitor realising the disaster he had caused.

The janitor was reprimanded and maintenance installed an additional socket next to this bed !