People enjoy the weather on the beach as temperature hits 30C (86F) across parts of the UK this weekend, in Seaford. | CARLOS JASSO


Having just recently returned from a United Kingdom based holiday, where to my surprise the weather was absolutely lovely for the two weeks that we were away - I have to say that I’d quite forgotten just how bizarre the British media can be where weather is concerned.

Why is it I wonder, that when we have a few sunny few days with temperatures soaring above 23ºC newspaper headlines insist upon ‘splashing’ the following ”Cor-blimey what a scorcher - It’s Hotter Than (pick any of the following!) Mallorca - Maldives - Morocco.” Mind you, in the winter if a light frost should alight upon your parked car be prepared for the current climate to be compared to Siberia on a particularly nasty day. Overreaction isn’t in it I’m afraid, as there must be something in our innermost psyche that demands that we home based Brits always appear to be on the edge of hysteria the moment the temperature leaps above or drops below the norm.

I suppose that the price we pay for living on a temperate group of islands that rarely gets too hot or too cold. Nevertheless, a person can enjoy hours of fun just taking-in all manner of tortured grimaces and unpleasant sweating when summer does what it is supposed to do i.e. become warm and pleasant. Hey, I don’t want to be a smart-arse but I also find ex-pat complaints regarding unexpectedly indifferent weather across the Balearics during the late spring hugely comforting, as at times it seems the temperatures in Blighty during this period far outstripped that of the western Mediterranean and I have to admit to becoming somewhat obsessed by this fact as I read with interest all manner of moans and groans via the Mallorca Bulletin online updates. I suppose it is all down to perception.

I can remember clearly when I first arrived in Mallorca twenty-three years ago now - how I was surprised that Mallorca locals would be covered in warm coats and suchlike as I swanned around in late April wearing flip-flops, short-shorts and the inevitable wife-beater vest.

However, it isn’t just the ‘red-top’ newspapers over here that go in for over-the-top coverage of a mini-heatwave (otherwise known as a lovely summer’s day!) our national broadcasters can be as bad, but in a much more subtle way.

Recently I have noticed that at the end of a radio or television news bulletin, a person with an incredibly soppy voice will inform us all not to sit in the sun, to drink gallons of water and under no circumstances actually enjoy a pleasant afternoon in the garden drinking anything vaguely stimulating. Got it? Good! Oh - and I almost forgot, after the warm weather, we now have a ‘Biblical’ level of thunderstorms so as to serve us right!

Mind you, having just returned from a holiday in St Ives Cornwall, which was wonderful on a number of counts - I have to say that after years of a Mediterranean summer dining-out food regime, where lunches were enjoyed much later and dinners crept on into the early hours, it is quite hard to get used to finishing a light lunch by 1pm and then sat down for dinner by 6pm.

Hey, anyone would think I was German or something!