Real Mallorca show off their new colours for season 2015/16. | MIQUEL BORRAS


After a weekend when some downright impossible things for blokes to say when drunk on holiday included - (1) “Thanks, but I don’t want to sleep with you”; (2) “Nope, no more drink for me”; (3) “No kebab for me, thank you”; (4) “Oh, I just couldn’t, no one wants to hear me sing”; (5) “No, I won’t make any attempt to dance, thanks, I have zero co-ordination!” – Real Mallorca had a highly satisfactory 1-0 win away to Dutch Eredivisie side SC Heerenveen (who finished seventh last season) on Saturday night.

We played really well with an intensity rarely seen last season, especially in defence where new centre half Lucas Aveldano looked the business as did left back Campabadal. Coach “Chapi” Ferrer played the back four for the whole 90 minutes and what pleased me the most was the way Mallorca went hunting for the ball after giving it away.

We looked faster than last season with young Brandon Thomas having a great game although he maybe should have scored near the end. Our goal came from a “panenka” penalty scored by Fofo after 48 minutes. A panenka penalty, by the way, is called after a Czech player in 1976, Antonin Panenka, and it’s a penalty in which the ball is nonchalantly lobbed down the middle of the goal when the goalkeeper dives the wrong way. There’s not too much skill involved but the nerve required is unrivalled.

We could have scored more goals especially after one of the home players was sent off in the 59th minute. There are still more players to come in to finalise the 22-man squad now that the summer transfer window is up and running. The shutters are up and doors are open as clubs all over the place scramble, plot and scheme in the market.

Young Reading player Aaron Kuhl didn’t fly back to Majorca with the team after the game. Utz Claassen said on Sunday that he’s gone back to England to attend to administrative issues. Aaron tweeted on Sunday: “Nice to be back in England!”. His returning home doesn’t augur well for his future at Real Mallorca after just four-and-a-bit days. German centre half Tobias Hennebole was expected to sign a contract with Mallorca yesterday.