Vicente Moreno and Maheta Molango at Wednesday's signing. | Pere Bota

After a week when, on Thursday, Sky Sports News said “Rory McIlroy’s championship was immediately in meltdown, on the first hole he drove out of bounds, hitting a fan and damaging her phone!” a spokesperson for Samsung later stated “The phone is out of danger and is expected to make a full recovery”!! – Real Mallorca are back in training with a month to go before their opening La Liga fixture in Son Moix against Basque side Eibar.
It’s been a case of “Moreno-mania” this week as the Real Mallorca coach, 44-year-old Vicente Moreno, put pen to paper extending his contract until June 2022.

That would make him the longest-serving Real Mallorca coach ever, as fans in the Twittersphere waxed lyrical saying just how good this guy has been for the club.
In this day and age it’s brilliant to see a football coach/manager given an extended vote of confidence and our owners in Phoenix, Arizona are more than delighted with his efforts.
At the signing press conference on Wednesday, Moreno said he was where he wanted to be and was looking forward to fulfilling his dream of coaching a club in the Primera Liga. He asked fans to be patient as the task ahead will be arduous and the priority is to stay in La Liga consolidating our position.

His efforts at the moment are not being helped by Porreras-born right back Joan Sastre refusing to sign a new contract as his agent and the club remain intransigent. The relationship between the agent, who is the nephew of our ex owner/coach Lorenzo Serra Ferrer, and club general manager, Maheta Molango, has taken a turn for the worse. Sastre, who has been at the club since he was 12, refused to accept a new contract offered in June, and wants to move on. If he waits until January, he’ll go for nothing, something the club doesn’t want. They state that no offers have been received for the full back.

I, like many other football fans, have a personal dislike for football agents, they’re like anchovies, almost everybody hates them. At this time of year they’re all trying to make rich pickings for bang average players. The fact that Sastre’s Mallorcan has ignited the wrath of some local media. Molango has been accused of trying to create conflict as the player states he only wants a decent contract. It looks all over for the youngster as he turned up on the training ground last Friday wearing flip flops! As soon as a deal is worked out he’ll move on.

No player is bigger than the club he plays for, especially when things begin to get a bit disruptive. I don’t think Sastre is good enough for La Liga but we’re desperately short of full backs with just a month to go.

Hopefully this saga will be over in the next couple of days.

Mallorca will play their first pre-season friendly tonight at 8 pm on Sa Pobla’s grass pitch against local third division team Felanitx. The game’s live on local channel IB3.

Once again fans have been amazing with nearly 9,000 season tickets being renewed. After August 8, new applicants have their chance to get theirs and it looks likely the south end of the ground will be re-opened after being closed for all of six years.

A part of the stadium I didn’t know much about was sold out weeks ago – the VIP boxes in the main stand.

To be able to see all the matches of the new season comfortably sitting in an armchair with catering and personalised attention will cost 30,000 euros this season for a private box with capacity for 12 people (there are also smaller ones that take six).

At first glance that looks exorbitant but in fact it works out at about 133 euros per person per game.

The boxes were sold out before they even went on sale and they could have been sold twice over, such was the demand. All these boxes have plasma TVs and mini-bar facilities.
The price also includes private parking, lift access and personal attention by hostessing staff who serve fusion cuisine at half time.

This VIP area is of course not for your average fan as you can barely hear the noise of the crowd behind glass that’s sound-proofed double glazing.
It’s football viewed without passion or stress, definitely NOT for me then!

The Spanish FA and La Liga are still at loggerheads over Monday night football. So much so that the organisation of dates and kick-off times for the upcoming campaign is in the hands of a judge, who hopefully will make a decision sooner than later.

For the time being, the kick-off times for the first three weekends are expected to be unchanged.

Monday night football is hated in Spain, ever since it was introduced in 2012. Fans of mid and lower clubs in La Liga reckon they are at an unfair disadvantage as teams involved in mid-week European games always play on Saturday or Sunday.

Since 2012, Barcelona have played one Monday night game – Real Sociedad 45.
Many fans have said they’d rather see a league of lower quality than one geared to make life easier for teams in Europe.

Until the end of the month, bidding is underway for the La Liga TV rights in the UK.
By then Spanish football fans outside the country (specifically those watching via UK TV) will find out how and where to watch live televised games.

And finally, Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of the sentence or phrase is surprising and unexpected.

Here are a few: (1) Where there’s a will, I want to be in it; (2) Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak; (3) If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong; (4) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad; (5) I did not say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you; (6) I’m supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find someone older than me; (7) Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they are sexy!