26-year-old Zimbabwean internationalist Tino Kadewere. | Majorca Daily Bulletin reporter


After a week when the rubbish strike continues in Edinburgh – the local seagull population has never had it so good, instead of dive bombing people eating a bag of chips, they now have a five course feast on every corner – Real Mallorca coach Javier Aguirre has got one of the players he wanted as the deadline for this article closed.

The Palma side were going to the wire to sign a couple more players before the transfer window shut on Thursday night. We hope to have moved on Alex Alegria. who will go out on another loan this time to Fuenlabrada, so two more late signings will bring our squad up to the maximum allowed of 25.

Already putting pen to paper on Tuesday on a season-long loan with an option to buy from French Champions League side Olympique Lyon is 26-year-old Zimbabwean internationalist Tino Kadewere who becomes the first player from his country to play in La Liga.

He also became the fourth African player in our squad joining Amath Ndiaye from Senegal, Idrissu Baba from Ghana and our longest serving player (eight years) Lago Junior from the Ivory Coast (who could well be on his way to La Segunda side Albacete).

Kadewere is a product of Harare city before moving to Europe with Swedish outfit Djurgadens. We’ve paid 400,000 euros for the loan with a purchase option of 8.5 million with Lyon retaining 20% of any future transfer. Looking at him on YouTube he definitely knows where the goal is so let’s hope he scores lots of goals in his six months here.

It’s likely Kadewere will play some part in SATURDAY’S GAME IN THE SON MOIX, KICK OFF 14:00 AGAINST GIRONA. One local journalist described our attacking options as the United Nations with Kadewere/Zimbabwe, Muriqi/Kosovo and Kang In Lee/South Korea.

Our impressive win at Rayo Vallecano last Saturday has been well received by the local “fussy” media. For the first time in the club’s 106 year history, we’ve gone four consecutive away games unbeaten and kept four clean sheets against Sevilla, Osasuna, At. Bilbao and Rayo Vallecano.

When Aguirre took over last Spring, we were in serious danger of going down. He said after one game “The team have conceded a lot of goals and with so many consecutive defeats the morale was low, we must start closing the door.”

He made it crystal clear his road map for the team’s survival was the tried and trusted 5-4-1 or 5-3-2 playing systems. Last season the system worked admirably and kept us up as Aguirre worked the miracle. Basically we have a team with precious little attack but a defence that has repelled all boarders especially last Saturday at Rayo. For the football purist the system doesn’t make for colourful or entertaining football but this is a results business and needs must.

Like it or loathe it, Aguirre’s system is doing the business. His obsession with playing and not conceding is not new to the Mexican coach. In his long and chequered career he worked wonders at Zaragoza and Leganes, both (like us last season) staying up by a whisker on the last game. It doesn’t matter what system he plays because the end justifies the means – a wall in defence and the bare necessities up front. Kang In Lee is now playing a more roving role just behind Muriqi and his game is a 100% improvement on last term.

One player who is almost like a new signing is 29-year-old Iñigo Ruiz de Galarreta, a Basque from Eibar who experienced a very special moment last Saturday when he came on as a sub in the 85th minute. It was for “Galaxy” (his nickname) the end of a nightmare because after an absence of six months he was competing again after overcoming, for the third time in his career, a torn cruciate ligament in his right knee. He is a vital cog in midfield and over the next few weeks he’ll get back to the fitness level required after a long lay off.

Mallorca go into tomorrow’s game fired up and should be able to get past Girona who came up via the play offs a few weeks ago. In a season marked by the World Cup in Qatar between November 20 – December 18, we need to get as many points as possible before the big event. We’ve had a good start, let’s keep the momentum going.

AND FINALLY, a man walks into a bar with a pet alligator on a lead. He lifts the alligator up to the bar, turns to the astonished customers and says “I’ll make a deal, I’ll open the alligator’s mouth and place my genitalia inside. He’ll then open his mouth and I’ll remove my privates unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you in this pub will buy me a drink.”

The punters murmured their approval as the man dropped his skinny jeans and placed his “dangly bits” in the alligator’s open mouth. It closed its jaws as the customers gasped. After a minute the man grabbed a beer bottle and hit the reptile hard on top of its head. The alligator opened his mouth and the man removed his wedding tackle unscathed as promised. The customers cheered as the first round of drinks arrived. The man stood up and shouted “I’ll pay anyone £1,000 to give what I’ve just done a try.” A hush fell over the customers.

After a while a hand went up at the back of the bar and an elderly lady timidly said “I’ll try but you have to promise not to hit me so hard on the head with the beer bottle !”