Are you ‘Time Blind’ or just always late?

I have to say that it has often struck me that Mallorcan’s in particular, rather like most Spanish folk in general, seem to suffer from this same malady i.e. never being anywhere or doing anything on time. For many people, this gripe of mine has surfaced many times in the past - alas, usually in these Bulletin columns, but I don’t care, even if I am the only person in Christendom who both insists on being on-time and will chastise anyone who arrives late for anything. Indeed, I seem to remember my mobile phone being forcibly removed from my grip when trying to phone some dinner-guests who were 6 minutes 26 seconds late at our place on the island a few years back. I think that we all have ‘things’ in life that can wreck our equilibrium and I have to say that so-called, sodding… time blindness, is my all-time least favourite human trait.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, as a punctuality bore of many years standing, I always like to turn up a few minutes early for both social functions and business/formal events. Alas, I have often arrived at these occasions somewhat earlier than expected with - for instance, the hostess still in a state of undress and the host noisily splashing about in his bath. But never mind all that; as it has to be said that in this job of mine, deadlines are non-negotiable and I would like to see my editors face if I should tell him that I was “…terribly sorry, but I suffer from time-blindness you know” when my ‘copy’ failed to arrive on time.

So it seems that increasingly young people “struggle with lateness” and the poor things seem to find looking at a watch or clock such a complete bore - “Well, why would you?” seems to be the mantra for some. Boring story alert! Years ago (many years ago!) when as a young lad I worked in a factory for a time - one of the draconian rules at that period in my life was if I - or any other hourly paid worker was late for work on more than one day of a week, you were sent home with no pay at all. No wonder I became so obsessed with always being on time - wherever, whenever!

However, it has to be said that I have certain ‘blindnesses’ myself in life. And if I am totally honest, they are quite numerous. For instance, I have according to a woman I know - DIY blindness, alongside emptying the bin in the kitchen…as is, my only job - blindness. Then we have - repeating-myself-constantly and being boring… blindness; alongside, no doubt many other minor annoyances. Nevertheless, rest assured - if you should ever agree to meet me for a drink, I will have been in the bar for at least 15 minutes 12 seconds before you arrive - just in case. I finally have to say that Oscar Wilde was totally wrong in saying - “Punctuality is the thief of time.” No, it isn’t, lateness is!