Life has dealt me a very clear message

What is your profession?
I am a Bridal Make Up Artist (MUA). I did my first wedding season in Mallorca in 2019 and really hit the ground running. Then 2020 came and everyone in the wedding industry on the island had many restrictions and postponements. I found out I was pregnant with Emilio, my son, in the second week of lockdown and gave birth to him in December 2020. Then in 2021 and 2022 I was incredibly busy with brides and wedding parties. Weddings in Mallorca are very popular, and we are very lucky to have excellent suppliers working on the island who keep the quality of service and product very high.

It must have been quite scary to be pregnant during COVID times.
I look back on that period and realise that I got to spend my entire pregnancy resting. I’m not good at slowing down so 2020 just completely forced me to stop.

How many weddings were you the MUA for in 2022?
70 different brides. I worked constantly through the season. I was very motivated to grow my business, and at the beginning of this year I was trying to figure out how to do it. And then everything stopped in April when I found a lump in my breast. I had actually had a lump for a couple of years. But I had been told previously by a doctor that it was benign. I was watching a news piece on the BBC about breast cancer, and they were saying we should also be checking our armpits. My hand absentmindedly went to my armpit, and there it was.

How did you feel at that moment?
I’m not a panicker, but I panicked. We have a strong family history of breast cancer, my mum has had it, and my grandmother died from it. I made an appointment straight away to see my doctor, but it took two weeks to get an appointment. And those two weeks will have made a difference to me, because at the very start of the whole process, before I started chemo I was offered fertility treatment, as the cancer treatment will most probably mean I cannot have another child. The first round of fertility treatment wasn’t successful, and they wouldn’t give me anymore time. That’s one part of being diagnosed with cancer that they don’t really talk to you about is the secondary infertility that probably comes with it. Not for everyone. There are people who manage it afterwards.

How quickly did you get a diagnosis once you were seen?
I had the mammogram, and then they marched me straight away for the biopsy. It’s incredible to know that you’re in that level of safe hands. I might be being really harsh here, but all I keep thinking is Thank God I’m not in the UK. Within the next few days I had more scans and then the diagnosis of breast cancer which has spread to the lymph nodes.

How did you cope with your illness and a fully booked calendar of bridal clients?
I have to say that I get the coolest brides, and the support I have had from colleagues has been amazing. I had to sort out 65 weddings and match brides with available make up artists. In between my appointments I was just sat in the waiting room constantly emailing and messaging to reorganise everything.

And how did you feel personally? It must be very frightening.
I had already processed it in my head before I got the official diagnosis. I was ready to hear the news. The doctors are very confident that they can get rid of it. I have had all of my chemo sessions now, and I have a date for a mastectomy in October.

I think the concept of mastectomy has changed a lot for women and their body image. What do you think?
I think, identity wise, we’re not so connected to what we look like. I have very conflicting opinions about it, because I love makeup and I love what it does. I love what I do. I love what it does for other people and how they feel afterwards. But then I realised that’s about them. And about the way that they feel in themselves rather than it’s not for someone else. Occasionally a bride will say to me, Oh, my husband-to-be doesn’t like it when I wear lots of makeup. And my response in the politest way possible is I don’t care. Yeah, this is not for him. This is for you.

How are you coping with things like losing your hair?
I used to have very long, thick hair, and I did initially buy two wigs, but then I realised they would be unbearably hot to wear in the summer. I don’t care if I’m bald anymore. It was so liberating, because I’ve always had long, long hair and it’s a lot of work. But I got to the point where I knew I would have to shave it off as it was falling out. My hairdresser Lindsey cried when she shaved it off for me, I didn’t really think about how it would affect her. I felt awful. I had to get up and give her a hug and tell her, it’s just hair. I took Emilio with me so he could see as well, it helped for him to understand what was happening as well. I actually don’t think I will grow it back that long now!

What has your treatment schedule been like?
So it depends on the type of cancer. For me, I started off with a different type of chemo drug, which is way harsher. They literally call it the Red Devil as it is a bag of red, horrible, poisonous fluid. They can only give you it every two weeks to allow you to recover from it. I had that for four cycles, and then they switched me to the drug that I’m on now, which was 12 cycles every week. You quickly learn that you will not be able to do much for the days after each treatment, you just have to stay on the sofa or in bed. Chemo breaks you down, it reduces you to rubble. But I have to take it as an opportunity to rebuild. When they remove the portocath in my chest it will leave a scar, and I plan to have a tattoo there to symbolise rebirth.

How is it with family life with 50% of the team down?
The blessing is that Alex is a teacher, so he was off for the whole summer. Our son has Autism which means he doesn’t sleep well at night, and Alex was on call 24 hours a day. So he’s done everything. We’ve had conversations on numerous occasions where I’ve had to say to him, I’m really sorry that I’m just not here at the minute.

Have you got plans for when you are better? Will you make any changes to your life?
Oh yes, I am going to be proper YOLO (You Only Live Once) when this is over. All bets are off! I’m going to work less. In summer 2022 I went to the beach once! I live in Mallorca! Life has dealt with a very clear message; I need to reprioritise and slow down. It’s going to have to be a conscious process, as I constantly have to do everything at 90 miles an hour. Even just getting up in the morning, I am thinking about what I can achieve in the time that the coffee machine is heating up. I need to unlearn it. Time is short. Family is king. And I’ve always known, but it’s very different.

Do you feel annoyed with yourself that you didn’t check your armpit before?
Why didn’t I check at the time? Why did I accept that the diagnosis by ultrasound was enough? Why did I not question why there was no follow up? Yeah. Because maybe I would have gotten away without chemo? Maybe I would have just had an operation and radiotherapy. Maybe I wouldn’t have lost a year of my life.

You seem to be dealing with this all so bravely.
I’m quite a matter of fact person anyway. Obviously you have your moments and really bad days when you don’t know if you can do it anymore. But then, when you have your good days, you feel so much different. And that is when you can get your perspective, and that is how you have to live.

What message would you send to the readers?
Check your breasts, if there is something concerning you, go and speak to a doctor. Don’t put it off. I’m grateful to the BBC for spreading the message when I needed to hear it, so I hope by telling my story other women will be motivated to check their own bodies and make sure they are healthy as well.

You can find Lauren on www.laurenfmua.com and on Instagram @makeupbylaurenmallorca She is looking forward to taking bookings for weddings again. If you or anyone you know has cancer and needs support in Mallorca you can contact www.cancersupportmallorca.com October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, you can get more information about how to check your breasts www.breastcancernow.org